Life is full of disappointments.
Anybody who knows me well enough, knows that I have evolved beyond the need for dairy. As in it poisons me with all the cunning of a beautiful assassin. Yes folks, I am a lactard. At 31 years of age, and after dealing with my evolutionary gift for almost 17 years, I have made peace with the lack of dairy in my life. If anything, the most annoying parts about it have been that all dairy replacements are soy based, and I miss ice cream. I wasn't born this way, and I have had all of these delicious things, and then had them snatched from me... and soy based dairy dessert substitutes taste like beans.
A while back I was turned onto a place called Life Alive. The place is awesome, they had a coconut based ice cream that blew my fucking mind. Unfortunately they're supplier ran out, and I wasn't ready to jump back on the soy.
Shit got hard.
Then Veggie Galaxy opened, I'm talking all coconut based dairy substitute treats. Some heady heady shit! Then Sparks tapped me to write this review here. Well MassBytes, anybody who knows me well enough also knows I love working my way up the distribution chain... supplier level baby!! Enter FoMu (Faux Moo).
|Take It Home!|
Deena and her husband Hin opened FoMu for two reasons (well, many reasons I'm sure, but 2 specifically for the point of this review!), the first being that more and more people are moving away from dairy and nobody is catering to them. The second being that they are Foodies like WHOA! ( There is so much room for freedom of taste exploration when you cater to "outside of the norm" tastes! And MassBytes readers, they are on a quest over there! )
Up until a year and a half ago I was lucky if I could find 1 or (dare I dream it) 2 flavors of iced cream-like dessert that I could eat without wishing I was dead. FoMu has changed the game! Let me break down some of what went down in there.
|Choose From A Variety Of Flavors|
Avocado: Holy Fuck. So creamy. It makes sense as I've used avocado as a dairy replacement.
Salted Caramel: Caramel is one of the things I have said goodbye to because its got to be dairy. Nope.
Cake Batter: Almost made me cry, maybe it was the music maybe it was that I had never had the flavor.
Bananas Foster: I could feel the smell of bananas in my nose before I even tasted it. Made me hate synthetic banana even more. I can taste the natural aging of the banana. Just like banana bread!
Dark and Stormy: Of course ginger in ice cream. Absolutely. So good. I had never thought of that before, but it's perfect.
Thai Peanut: One of the best peanut ice creams I've ever had. The Thai spices were present, but just like in Thai food it comes heavy at the end!
Peach: Again with the making me hate synthetic flavors. It was the most honest light peach flavor. I could feel the strands of peach in there.
Limoncello Almond Chip: Very almond with the feel of lemon more than the over powering taste.
Cookies and Cream: Is one of my all time favorite flavors and this was sooo good. It felt creamier than all the other flavors.
Peanut Butter: So light, where as peanut butter is very heavy. Tastes like all the best parts of peanut butter without the mid sandwich regret!
And then a bear walked in.
Not a flavor, a real thing. A fucking bear walked into FoMu. It ate coconut based dairy substitute frozen treats. The bear enjoyed them. Remarked about how the heat was Un-Bearable. It could talk. Here's photographic evidence:
|Vegan Gummy Bears!|
Go to this place. Now if you can.
I will go back, and I will mix Peanut Butter and Bananas Foster in a shake!
I will also tip Mike. I forgot to tip Mike.
Mike, you were the shit. (I know, verbal tip right? Such a sucker move on my part)
(Catch Dex Ter on UNregularRadio.com, Wednesdays at Noon.)